Heaven and Hell Cake

There are certain things I might have eaten when I was 12 but that I'll probably never eat from here on out. I mean, the Cadbury Creme Egg deep fried in funnel cake batter. Bacon, cheese and sour cream on a baked potato. Something wherein the "soup" is really "melted pork fat" (I tried to let it drain out, but I was being watched).

But this cake, this cake gives me pause. Layers of peanut butter mousse, angel food cake, and devils food cake covered in chocolate ganache. It's more of a concept cake, and I'm pretty down with that most of the time. But it seems to cause a kind of insanity or ruckus. I mean, it's a cake that causes TROUBLE.

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In other news, I made a gluten free blueberry breakfast cake with garbanzo flour and the batter tasted like a dog's ass. I think I was supposed to roast the flour first. Or it will not have that bitter grassy aftertaste after baking. This is the birthday cake of someone who can't eat wheat. But Lord, I am already thinking about the back-up cake I will bake, and I don't have time for a back-up cake. If I did, it would be gluten free one-bowl chocolate cake. I hate that gluten free baked goods are so freaking sweet. But that chocolate cake recipe describes and links to a home mix of gluten free flour and I feel like if the inventor claims it can be used cup for cup as a substitute for flour, Ima try it.

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Yesterday, I made Martha Stewart's Jewish Apple Cake. Let's be serious, it was the apple cake recipe of Arthur Schwartz' Jewish Home Baking as passed on by Martha Stewart. It reappeared on a different site as Passover Pareve Apple Cake. To be safe, I'm putting it here. For five minutes I couldn't find it and panicked.

INGREDIENTS

• For the topping
• 1/2 cup coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon, or a combination of ground cinnamon, nutmeg, mace, and ginger
• For the cake
• 3 eggs
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1/3 cup vegetable oil
• 3/4 cup matzo cake meal
• 5 medium apples, peeled, cored, halved, and cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices (about 5 cups), preferably Golden Delicious, Crispin (Mutzu), or other apples that keep their shape when cooked
• 1/3 cup raisins (optional)

DIRECTIONS

• 1. Position an oven rack in the center of the oven. Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). Lightly oil an 8-inch-square glass baking dish.
• 2. Mix together the walnuts, sugar, and cinnamon in a small bowl; set aside.
• 3. In a bowl with a hand-held electric mixer, beat the eggs on medium speed until well mixed. Beat in the sugar, about 2 tablespoons at a time, beating until the mixture is thick and foamy. Beat in the oil, adding it in a steady stream. Scrape down the bowl with a rubber spatula. With the spatula, stir in the matzo cake meal, blending well.
• 4. Pour half of the batter mixture into the prepared pan. Sprinkle about half the topping mixture evenly over the batter. Top with half the apples and all the raisins. Scrape the remaining half of the batter over the apples, spreading it out to cover the apples. Arrange the remaining apples on top of the batter. Sprinkle evenly with the remaining topping mixture.
• 5. Bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes, or until the sides of the cake pull away very slightly from the baking dish and the topping has begun to caramelize. (A cake tester is not reliable. It will not come out clean due to the moist richness of this cake.) Let sit in the baking dish for several hours, until completely cool, before cutting into serving portions. This cake is yet another Yiddish food that improves with age. Keep the cake in its dish, covered tightly with plastic, and the next day the topping will have become a moist, candy-like coating.

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Me: I'm making the apple cake for Passover.
JW: Oh really?
Me: Yes, a Martha Stewart recipe, so you know that it's been tested, that it will work, and that feelings were hurt to get there.
JW: (Wistful) Yes, feelings were definitely hurt.

Also:

Me: Got any plastic wrap?
S.: No. Should we go get some?
Me: No, it's just supposed to be airtight. It'll get better over the course of two days, supposedly.
S.: (Crimping the foil top over the foil pan of cake).
Me: Also, if an intruder breaks into your apartment, you can just hit him with this cake. Seriously. You're more important.
S.: That is a heavy cake.
Me: That's ten apples my friend. (And nine eggs...and I hammered the walnuts while they were in a Ziplock, oh the therapy).

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Next: garbanzo cassoulet...